Posts Tagged ‘carnival’

The Carnival of Running #36

Welcome to the 36th edition of The Carnival of Running!

Training for New York? Here’s a little motivation for you:

Ruth Bendik was watching the 1982 New York City Marathon when her wallet was pickpocketed. Last week, it was found in the hollow of a tree, under five feet of compost.

Who needs a race report when you can read a post-race buffet report?

Want to run a 5k but can’t persuade yourself to devote the time to training? Andy Tarnoff went from the couch to a 5k race in one week. If he had had a heart attack, his story would not have made Running Is Funny.

James Burns, sports editor of the Merced Sun-Star, pens a tribute to runners.

Geoff Edgers of the Boston Globe wrote a column about how you should stop writing and talking about your running. Huh? His readers let him have it.

A non-runner asks us: Why? “I’m very interested in this because you would have to pay me a lot of money to run anywhere in public, let alone wearing almost nothing and flinging various limbs in several different directions. (This is what clubbing is for.)” she writes.

Here is one good answer.

A few days ago, I highlighted Ugo Sansonetti’s 800 meter world record for 90-year-olds. But in my mind his amazing accomplishment still pales in comparison to that of Frank Levine, who ran a 50:10 5k – a world record for 95-year-olds. “I have to watch my weight, watch what I eat, and stay away from young girls because they take away all my energy,” said Levine. Yep, those 70-year-old women will kill you.

Would you get a temporary tattoo with your target marathon split times? I think I’d rather have my emergency contact information, blood type and religion on there.

Here’s a little linky love for Running For My Life, Finny Knits, and Rookie Runner. Check them out. And Christy at Going the Distance makes the Running Is Funny blogroll. Woo-hoo! That’s at least two or three extra hits a week for you.

Two runners were banned from the Edinburgh Marathon for life for switching bib numbers. A man ran with his woman friend’s number and finished in the top ten female runners. Asked why he did it, the man replied, “A hae nae thochtie.”

Things are not looking good for the National Distance Running Hall of Fame.

Andrew Smith ran a marathon in a dog costume, but he’ll have to train harder to approach the world record for costume running.

Whenever I see a promotion for an eco-friendly running shoe I have the same reaction. If the shoe companies made their current shoes last twice as long it would be more eco-friendly than making shoes out of soybeans and rice cakes.

Just one man’s opinion.

That’s all for this week, friends. Stay out of summer’s fiery furnace and submit your posts to carnival@runningisfunny.com. Until next time, run away!

The Carnival of Running #35

Welcome to the 35th edition of The Carnival of Running!

This week’s video features the world’s lamest free runner.

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford is in the news for quirky behavior, and at least one person wants to attribute it to his predilection for running. This is a weirdly bipartisan view of the effects of marathoning, since some applied it to former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich.

Eleven-year-old Abdissa Bari has a future in distance running if he doesn’t lose his way.

In the same race, five women who are all between four and eight months pregnant teamed up to run the Manitoba Marathon relay. Their team name is “Knocked Up, But Not Out.”

Here we go again. Running is like running a small business.

The Mugwumps 10k in Anchorage, Alaska, has an unusual rule: if you run it too fast, you can never run it again. It’s not a problem for most of us, though. The cut-off is 45 minutes.

Tonight there’s another Stiletto Run, this time in Buffalo, New York. Apparently the record for stiletto run participants in a single race is 265.

It’s interesting to see all these doubts about the possibility of a two-hour marathon. Who can confidently predict advances in science, training and medicine?

Time Out Chicago has an interview with Deena Kastor, who plans to run the Chicago Marathon, which she won in 2005.

You’re never too old to pull a Rosie Ruiz.

LLOL (Literally Laughing Out Loud) is a Dave Barry fan and needs to shave four more minutes to BQ, so she’s entitled to some Running Is Funny linky love.

Kelly Johnson at Run Oregon offers good advice: be proud of your fast.

We all love a good run, but can it really compare to a good Dunkin’ Run? Somebody has to turn this into a type of hash run. I love Dunkin’ Donuts, but we don’t have them in California. If you do, see how it works.

It’s not a surprise to learn that Bill Rodgers is old school when it comes to running shoes.

Wil Losch’s memories of Grandma’s Marathon include three plates of chicken mornay.

Ben Passons writes about waving to other runners when you see them, but I’m more interested in something else he does: assign nicknames to the runners he sees, like Sideburn Guy, Pink Top Lady, the Pirate, Way Too Short Shorts Guy, and Spock. I often do this myself. How about you? And what are some of the best names you’ve come up with?

There will no interruption in blogging, but business will preclude my putting the carnival together, so the next Carnival of Running won’t appear until Wednesday, July 15. Until then, run away!

The Carnival of Running #34

Welcome to the 34th edition of The Carnival of Running!

This week’s video explains how to avoid running injuries.

Because last week’s carnival featured a list of the least motivational running songs, I wanted to give a tip of the hat to Zero to Boston, who posted a list of “songs to not run by” back in 2006.

If you enjoy watching major marathons on TV, there’s good news. NBC will increase its coverage of the New York City Marathon, both locally and nationally.

I gave you a heads-up last week about the agenda behind the Runner’s World Marathon Challenge, and evidently there is plenty of money to go around.

A Running Is Funny salute to Robert Matteson, who will be competing at the Green Mountain Senior Games in Burlington, Vermont, next week at age 93, to Frank Ruehl, who’ll be running Grandma’s Marathon on Saturday in Duluth, Minnesota, at age 90, and to Mike Fremont, who is waiting for confirmation that his sub-six-hour marathon at the Flying Pig set a world record for 87-year-olds.

A separate tip of the hat to Perry Romanowski, who may be Just Your Average Joggler, but he is singular enough to be worthy of a profile in the New York Times.

Tired of getting your carbs during a race from GU? Finally, someone realized what you really want is cold beer in a tube! Stuffing one of those in your shorts could lead to some commotion, however.

Astronaut Sunita Williams describes what it’s like to run on a treadmill in space and details the features of the new COLBERT treadmill, to be carried up to the International Space Station by the shuttle Discovery this August.

Maybe you’ll never get a chance to run in outer space, but how about running a race in cyberspace?

Or you could run in a state of nature at one of Oregon’s various clothing-optional races.

Reporter Julie Deardorff asks whether charity runners are being properly trained for their marathons, which prompted The Chronicle of Philanthropy to look into it from the charity’s point of view.

These high-heel races are really catching on.

The best part of running this site is coming across blogs I didn’t know about. Have a look at Runnin on Full and Going the Distance.

Nicole Adamson lists 10 celebrities who have run a marathon, and 5 who should.

Last week I posted dozens of examples of what running is like. Now you can add: running is like a job search.

Meet The Running Yogis! Considering my frequent injuries, I’m more qualified for The Running Boo Boos.

That’s all for this time, friends. Submit your posts to carnival@runningisfunny.com. Now run away!

The Carnival of Running #33 – Top Ten Least Motivational Running Songs Edition

Welcome to the 33rd edition of The Carnival of Running!

A special treat for you this week. After having seen a blog post about the top ten motivational running songs, I asked you for the least motivational running songs. I got some great suggestions, but the definition of a “running song” was elusive. So I changed the rules and put together this list – The Top 10 Least Motivational Running Songs!

The restrictions were that the song had to have some form of the word “run” in the title, it had to have an available YouTube video for embedding, and its lyrics or music had to make it particularly unsuitable for a good run. And remember, this isn’t a reflection on the quality of the songs; it’s about how poorly they motivate you to get out and run.

Here are the results, in countdown order:

#10. Run Through the Jungle by Creedence Clearwater Revival

Too slow for a good tempo run, and the lyrics include:

Thought I heard a rumbling
Calling to my name,
Two hundred million guns are loading
Satan cries, take aim!

Some might find the notion of Satan’s minions shooting at you enough running motivation, so this goes at the bottom of the top 10.

#9. We Run by Strange Advance

Oh so 80s! Lyrics include:

At the point of the knife
You never see anyone
How the strong will survive
At the end of their gun

Dude, it rhymes!

#8. Run by Kutless

Very stalkerish.

Why do you run why do you hide?
Oh don’t you know I just, just want to be with you.

Looking down from above as you watch TV
Wondering why, oh you’re ignoring me
Don’t you know that I died, died so I could be with you forever.
Find a place of solitude, and I’ll speak to you as you pray to me.

Wow, delusions of grandeur, too.

#7. Run by Leona Lewis

Different song, same title, same depressing tempo.

#6. Running Scared by Roy Orbison

The title alone merits inclusion on this list, but you also get about a 16 minute mile pace and the lyrics:

Just running scared, feeling low
Just running scared, afraid to lose

#5. Why Do You Run? by Arid

You’ll be asking yourself that question.

My life has become lonely
Cold water trails surround me
When all that I’ve feared has found me
Feel my time is running out

#4. Running by No Doubt

Any song that begins with a toy piano sound is not going to get you that PR. And for a band called No Doubt, they don’t sound too confident of success.

Running, running
As fast as we can
Do you think we’ll make it?
(Do you think we’ll make it?)

Sometimes it’s hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don’t make me want to give up

#3. Run to You by Whitney Houston

When thinking of fitness and a healthy lifestyle, Whitney Houston is not the name that springs to mind. You’re going to have trouble running to “Hoo hoo hoo.”

Can’t you see the hurt in me?
I feel so all alone.
But at night, I come home and turn the key,
There’s nobody there, no one cares for me.

#2. Run Baby Run by Sheryl Crow

Pretentious lyrics (“She was born in November 1963, the day Aldous Huxley died”), a death shuffle pace, and a music video featuring a girl lying down and rubbing her eyes. Hit the snooze button gold!

And here it is:

#1. Running in the Rain by Hinder

The tempo on this one is actually not awful for running, but listen to the lyrics; they’re about drinking alone and attempting suicide. Just what you need at about Mile 22.

That’s all for this time, friends. Submit your posts to carnival@runningisfunny.com. Now run away!

The Carnival of Running #32 – National Running Day Edition

Welcome to the 32nd edition of The Carnival of Running!

It’s National Running Day, which for us is about as exciting as National Breathing Day, so save your energy for Friday, which is National Doughnut Day! You’ll need your stamina.

If you didn’t see Tyson Gay destroy an all-star field at the Reebok Grand Prix, here’s video of the race.

The Nike Mile featured a host of elite runners, but a lot of attention was also paid to seventh-grader Paige Rice, who finished in 5:00.56.

Ben Passons takes on some running myths, but he should spend some time with Tara Parker-Pope at the New York Times, who unintentionally reopened the Gallowalking can of worms. For the record, anything that gets you through the distance on your own two legs is OK in my book, but anyone who gets faster from Gallowalking must have been pretty bad at pacing before trying it.

However, Gina Kolata of the Times has something better: the fact that there are a lot of people giving running advice who don’t know what they’re talking about. Meanwhile, Andrew W. Lehren writes about a little-examined topic: runners who DNF.

The London Evening Standard has a review of various running programs, but my favorite was the Trainer 5k app for the iPhone. The columnist mentions the voice told her “Run for three minutes” and she kept going and going and going… until she realized she had inadvertently hit the pause button.

Alas, I was unable to participate in the Great Kilted Run last week, but it did bring to mind the saga of The Scotsman, by Brian Bowers.

A Gannett newswire story simply wanted to let us know that people 50 years of age and older can benefit from strenuous exercise, but despite two attempts, they can’t get their comma placement quite right, and the commenters are letting them have it.

The San Diego Union-Tribune just has to remind us how damnably slow marathoners are these days.

The Bleacher Report interviews the founder of a running club and asks, “Speaking of cravings, you haven’t gone for a run in a week, and you haven’t had sex in a week, which do you crave more?”

Lots of news about elite runners in this Boston Globe story, including the tidbit that Kara Goucher will “run another marathon this year before trying to start a family.” Maybe hubby was doing speedwork while she needed long, slow distance.

Jeff, who is some young guy who runs, reminds us that Life Isn’t Over at 40. Check out his blog.

Japan Running News has an item about a proposed marathon course, about half of which will be through an underwater tunnel. I’ve had a few races where I thought I was six feet underground, but this would be a new experience.

How about a blanket review of every running book that has been published recently?

The Running Moron gets eyeballed on the treadmill.

Over at Slow Runnings we learn that it’s tough to do push-ups when you have arms like a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Run DMZ clues us in about Racevine, a site devoted entirely to race reviews. Worth a look.

Who is carpeviam? We still don’t know, but she is evidently one of several dishy women.

Finally, congratulations to Carlee at Chasing Forrest Gump and Chic Runner for their marathon finishes, but Chic Runner gets a bonus for her misspelled autograph from Ryan Hall!

That’s all for this time, friends. Submit your posts to carnival@runningisfunny.com. Now run away!

The Carnival of Running #31

Welcome to the 31st edition of The Carnival of Running!

This is the only race where I’d prefer the uphill leg, and the volunteers suffer just as much as the runners:

Here’s a story from Rochester, Minnesota, I’m ashamed to say I found hilarious:

“Police officers in Rochester have found a missing Med-City Marathon runner after issuing several emergency alerts on the radio.

“Officers tell us that they received a report of a disoriented and possibly lost runner who may have been suffering from heat stroke.

“When she didn’t cross the finish line, they were worried for her safety and launched a city-wide search.

“The 27-year-old woman was found less than a half hour later when she crossed the finish line.”

This crabby columnist from The Guardian says, “It wasn’t long ago that running a marathon was the ultimate hard-nut badge of honour. Now every TV presenter and her manicurist has run the course, you have to do it wearing chainmail if you really want to prove something, preferably finishing several days after the race began.”

The New York Times will be running a series of personal marathon stories. The paper also had an interview with Kara Goucher about first marathons. She gave solid advice if not particularly insightful. And the Times added a product review of the Nike + iPod Sport Kit.

Marathoner Ryan Hall gets advice from an old hippie.

Here’s an article that suggests you can blog your way to running success. If only it were true.

There’s always a lot of advice out there about what to eat before running, but Wesley Korir doesn’t pay any attention to it. He won the Los Angeles Marathon in 2:08:24 after his usual pre-race meal – a six-inch Subway tuna sub.

In the future you may be able to walk into a store and purchase a pair of personalized running shoes. Even better, “With the elastomeric zp15e powder and a flexible infiltrant, you can get a range of performance depending on the exact urethane product you use to infuse the parts,” says Joe Titlow, director of product management at Z Corp. “A shore hardness range of 20A to 70A is achievable, typically with 100-200 percent elongation.” It’s a worthy goal to achieve 100-200 percent elongation in all aspects of your life.

What’s the point of having a Night of the Ninja 5k and no one posts any photos? Oh well, at least we have a race report from Old-Runner.com.

Running humor is not for amateurs. The proof is the spectator at the Ottawa Marathon holding a sign that read, “Hey… Who Fartleked?”

Zennie62 has a full race report and video of the Bay to Breakers.

Ben Stiller thinks Tom Cruise is one of the best “screen runners.” I think it’s a tie between this guy and this guy.

Here’s some good advice about how to avoid common running injuries.

What do you think should happen to runners who don’t follow race rules? I’m for summary execution, myself.

And for those of you have been on pins and needles waiting for the results of The Great Funny/Viper Challenge, well, it wasn’t much of a contest. Here’s my race report and concession speech, and here is Viper’s race report and gloat.

Fortunately I have an opportunity to salvage some pride. I have to be in San Diego on business the first week of July, and as luck would have it, there is an Independence Day 15k on Coronado. This will be my first 15k, so my goal is to beat Viper’s PR of 1:20:24, which he set in March.

Yep, it’s like Ryun vs. Liquori all over again!

That’s all for this time, friends. Submit your posts to carnival@runningisfunny.com. Now run away!

The Carnival of Running #30

Welcome to the 30th edition of The Carnival of Running!

With all the pageantry in the Bay to Breakers 12k, it’s nice to see the race itself was a great contest:

Sammy Kitwara set a world record for the distance, saying afterwards, “I feel very well, but very hot.” That prompted one wiseguy to remark, “You know it’s hot when the Kenyan says it’s hot.”

Usain Bolt shows us he’s a pretty fast road racer, too.

The men’s 400-meter hurdle race at the Adidas Track Classic featured a set of misplaced hurdles. Oops. If you missed the meet on ESPN2, Universal Sports has a rundown of the winners and losers.

A guy in New Zealand will attempt to break the record for fastest marathon run on a treadmill. In case you were considering it yourself, it’s 2:21:40.

If you’ve never done a hash run, here’s a good primer of what it entails, which is mostly beer.

Steve Bond says runners rarely exhibit the “crush the opponent at almost any cost mentality.” He’s right. What’s that “almost” doing in there?

The Associated Press discovered three recession-proof products are chocolate, Spam and running shoes. Smells like race day to me!

Cameron Stracher is writing a book about the 1970s running boom, and he’s of the opinion that economic malaise and increased interest in running go hand in hand. But I was more interested in this little story:

“In law school I ran with a world-class, 5,000 meter runner who disclosed he was stoned in the middle of a 13-mile run (apparently a common training technique for him).”

Maybe he was doing… wait for it… speedwork!

On Run Oregon, Joe Dudman discusses the etiquette for passing someone while training. I have soft footfalls, so I use the ninja sprint, sidling up behind them and then shooting past so they foul themselves in shock.

We’ve all seen those poor pacers, running an entire marathon while holding up that little tour guide sign. Why hasn’t anyone thought of this before? They’re rabbits. They should have rabbit ears.

Outside magazine thinks long, slow distance makes for long, slow runners.

University of Oregon students make themselves feel better by generating their own electricity while on elliptical machines. Before you get too excited about this idea, it would take 3,000 people a day on 20 machines to generate enough electricity to power one small house. It makes more sense just to go to bed an hour earlier.

copia verborum notices some odd behavior while she runs through Sulphur.

You watch for potholes. You watch for traffic. But Run to Win says to watch out for wet paint, too.

Pam Anderson (this one, not this one) recommends hard candy instead of gels on long runs.

Race congratulations to:

* sound mind, sound body for her 10k PR and tasty free beer.

* The Running Laminator for a monstrous 10k PR but, alas, no tasty free beer.

* maria k at run, rock, and roll for completing her first marathon in Cleveland last Sunday. She even had enough energy to heckle her ex-boyfriend at mile 17. Tremendous!

* Sun Runner who BQ’d in the same race. For her BQ, I have NV.

Thanks to Nitmos at Feet Meet Street for introducing me to the All American Standards of Excellence for master runners. All of those are reachable for me, so I’m clearing a space for my $10 certificate to go right next to my C-130 Hercules One Thousand Hour Club certificate. The old joke was the award for 3,000 hours was a hearing aid.

That’s all for this time, friends. Monday is the Great Funny/Viper Challenge. May the best snail win! Submit your posts to carnival@runningisfunny.com. Now run away!