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My Boss Is a Tyrant

Being a working stiff in North Korea is tough in the best of times, but this was a particularly bad week for those of all job titles who toil in the name of the Supreme Commander.

For example, a bus driver. Or a rocket scientist. But especially a marathon runner who gets edged out at the finish line by a foreigner:

On the plus side, the old dude in the video seems to be rocking it. He’s probably retired.

The Gokey’s No Jokey

We all love new running gadgets, and I love even more encouraging new capitalists, so here’s a free plug for industrial designers Francesca Passoni and Cristina Cook, who are looking for backers for their product, the Gokey:

They’re looking raise $10,000 on Kickstarter and appear to be well on their way already. Just as a legal disclaimer: I don’t know these women and have no interest, financial or otherwise, in their enterprise. I do find their product intriguing enough to share with you, even though I’ve been using satisfactorily a wrist coil to hold my key for about seven years. It cost me $1.

The Competition?

I ran across (ha-ha!) a web site I hadn’t known existed: SportsFunny.com. And while I had to do a bit of digging to find them, they have pages devoted to Funny Marathon! and Funny Running! The latter has the following intro:

Welcome to Sports Funny’s RUNNING page! Do You think you have seen Running? Prepare yourself for some funny stuff about Running from all over the world. The Olympics are here! May the Olympic Gods be with you while you laugh with these funny Olympic Sports.

Some of the best Running videos and pictures are here just to make you laugh!

And remember… come back often as we are always adding some funny stuff to this page.

I’m feeling pretty secure in my niche.

Actual Headline from Actual Story

“Runner cited for not using sidewalk, community upset“

Funny Running Video Extravaganza!

Normally I like to spread these out over a couple of weeks, but why not have a blowout? Let’s begin with the marginally serious ad for Adidas, “We All Run“:

Then there’s the Hawaii track runner who makes the most of a bad finish:

New Balance adds to its stable of funny commercials for its Minimus shoes with “Dojo“:

While the Fox TV series New Girl featured a charity 10k (“Why can’t we just donate the money? Why do we have to run the six miles first?”):

Spoiler alert: They finish in 3:03:50. Ouch.

The World’s Most Unusual Running Simile

People love running similes. The number of endings to the sentence “Running is like…” extend into the hundreds of thousands. I once posted a list of these for readers to supply their own rationales.

But Dallas Morning News contributor Gabriella McCord hit the jackpot with her comparison. She explains how going out for a run in the early a.m. is like “dog poop in a tree.”

Just as before, I think it would be a great mental exercise for Running Is Funny readers to offer their own original description of how running is like dog poop in a tree before they follow the story link for the solution.

So write it up in the Comments section and then check out Gabriella’s column here.

Spouses: The Runner’s Life Support System

The last week brought a rash of stories about runners and their spouses, which was appropriate since a rash is often a topic of conversation between runners and their spouses.

Ah yes, the comedic possibilities increase geometrically with the addition of a spouse. How much funnier is Lucy with Ricky, or George with Gracie, or Angelina with Billy Bob?

Let’s begin with “Loneliness of the long-distance runner’s wife” by London Evening Standard columnist David Cohen, who is training for the London Marathon. His wife, Pam, is not a fan of the long run:

You wimp out early on Saturday evenings, spend the night insomniac tossing and turning about getting enough sleep for your LONG RUN, next thing the alarm goes off at crack of dawn and you’re out of bed like a bolt of lightning to make your bloody porridge.

“You come home hours later, walking stiff as a cowboy, have your disgusting protein shake and then pass out for the rest of the day. Where’s the fun?”

…She adds that I have become “self-obsessed” and —fatal mistake this — “more interested in my own body than in hers”.

Despite the headline, Pam gets short shrift in the column, too.

Galesburg Register-Mail columnist Nick Pigg provides some advice for those considering marrying a runner – most of them involving food:

* I hope you like peanut butter. It will become a staple item in the cupboard that is used to the extent that it has to be worked into the weekly budget.

* I hope you like pasta.

* I hope you like bananas.

His wife, Tracy, added her thoughts in the next post:

Nick mentioned in his post that runners and/or their clothes often stink. This is true. Very true. But, he forgot to mention a different source of the stink. Remember all those veggies I mentioned?! A diet like that tends to create a stink of its own, as does eating energy gels for 50 miles.

…Despite the interrupted sleep, smells, and sights (how many times have I heard “look at this- does this toe nail look right?”), I am very proud to be married to my ultra-runner. I admire his strength and determination. And I absolutely LOVE being part of his races. Race day is a mix of excitement and nerves- for both of us. As his ‘crew’, I am there to keep him hydrated, fed, and in dry socks. I provide moral support and keep a kit stocked with ointments and medicines for a variety of potential ailments, bandages, and tweezers (which came in very handy when his ear bud became wedged in his ear and I had to dig it out!). After hours and hours of this, he approaches the finish line. NOTHING beats the feeling of seeing him cross that finish line after pushing his body to the limit like that. The look of pride, accomplishment, amazement, and pure exhaustion on his face- see that, I forget all about those other things!

That is, until the next morning when I have to lift him out of bed and practically carry him to the bathroom because he can’t move. Then it’s back to the reality of living with a runner.

Having a spouse around after a race can be a life-saver – literally – as one Washington, DC runner learned:

A runner was rescued from the Metro tracks by her husband after apparently falling in after a Saturday marathon, according to Metro.

The woman lost her balance at L’Enfant Plaza station from apparent heat exhaustion around 12:30 p.m. Saturday, according to Metro spokeswoman Caroline Lukas. Her husband was able to pull her back onto the platform before a train passed through.

So put off your tempo run for a few minutes and take the time to thank your one-person pit crew (here’s to you, the Lovely Mrs. A.!), or you may find yourself celebrating your latest PR while lying on train tracks somewhere.