The Presidents entertain the crowd between innings at Washington Nationals home games with a race around the field. I don’t know who will win the Undie Run, but I’m 100% certain it won’t be Teddy.

You might think it’s ridiculous to have foam-head Presidents accompany you in a race, but, as today’s headlines remind us, “Foam a friend to runners.”

But the good people in the upscale neighborhoods of Columbia, South Carolina, aren’t too crazy about the alternative.

The Mullet Haul consists of five- and ten-mile trail races in which mullets are not required, but highly encouraged. Not only can you compete for an age group award, but for the top spot on Rate My Mullet! (Competition, as you can see for yourself, is fierce.)

Don’t delay. Bring the whole family!

Thanks to Closer magazine we learned from “an insider” that Victoria Beckham exercises hard:

“She works out six days a week and runs four to six miles a day on the treadmill. But she worries about getting ‘runners face,’ where muscles sag, so she does facial exercises to tone up.”

First, congratulations to Ms. Beckham on her running regimen, although I would suggest a large stack of flapjacks might be beneficial to her workout. Second, it’s important to note that “runner’s face” is a phony syndrome concocted by a cosmetic surgeon trying to drum up business. Third, he describes this made-up condition as when runners over the age of 40 develop “a skeletal and bony face.” This would suggest that Ms. Beckham is locking the barn door after the horse’s cheeks have bolted.

We return to Closer magazine for the last bit of unintentional humor. A new story on its web site has the headline: “David tells Victoria ‘we barely see each other.’”

Again, flapjacks would take care of that problem.

“Two terrified runners have spoken of their face-to-face encounter with South Lakeland’s mysterious big ‘black cat,’” the paper reported. “It follows years of apparent sightings of the curious creature in Kendal, Levens, Natland, Witherslack and in the Winster Valley.”

Anjela Jones and Eve Grayson were traversing the foggy moor during their evening jog (OK, I don’t know if it was a foggy moor, but it makes for a better story) when they spotted an animal shape in the dark. Angela said the animal was jet black, the same size as a labrador, had long legs, a tail and was staring straight at them.

“We stopped, shone our head torches towards it to get a better look and saw two orange eyes and the outline of a large feline animal,” said Angela “It was definitely a big cat.”

Let’s put on our deerstalker caps for this one. I have a theory…

But it’s hard to devote sufficient attention to solving this mystery while being distracted by the photo accompanying the story.

Is this meant to be a re-enactment of the incident? Did the two women really hide behind a thin tree branch and pull it down in order to see?

Even more baffling is the photo caption: “Angela Jones and Eve Grayson, who say they saw South Lakeland’s mystery big car.” That’s right, it says “car.” Were they really hiding behind a tree branch from a big black car?

The reporter adds to the riddle when he describes the culprit as “the mystery moggy.” The term can be applied to a cat, but also a cow, a mouse, or “an untidy woman.”

Hmmm… definitely a three-pipe problem.

The group finished the Lakefront Marathon in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, last October in 6:20, breaking the previous record of 54 runners. The team was put together to raise money for the physical rehab of former elite runner Jenny Crain, who suffered severe injuries after being struck by a vehicle during a training run in 2007.

It’s easy to imagine the difficulties involved in running a marathon while tied to 61 other people, but this short video makes it even plainer.

From the Toronto Globe and Mail:

Flip-flops crushed her foot, now she wants to run again