Outpost of the Odd

Damned If You Do and Jailed If You Don’t

The Daily Illini warns us that “Jogging in shorts can be risky in winter weather.”

But the good people in the upscale neighborhoods of Columbia, South Carolina, aren’t too crazy about the alternative.

Registering for Chicago? Mullet Over

Sure it’s the first day to register for the Chicago Marathon, but who needs all those crowds of posers? The line is much shorter to register for a race with our kind of people – the Mullet Haul in Charleston, South Carolina.

The Mullet Haul consists of five- and ten-mile trail races in which mullets are not required, but highly encouraged. Not only can you compete for an age group award, but for the top spot on Rate My Mullet! (Competition, as you can see for yourself, is fierce.)

Don’t delay. Bring the whole family!

Victoria Beckham Unclear on the Concept of “Runner’s Face”

Rarely at Running Is Funny do we witness such a perfect storm of irony, pseudo-science and celebrities. It’s a story made for the Internet.

Thanks to Closer magazine we learned from “an insider” that Victoria Beckham exercises hard:

“She works out six days a week and runs four to six miles a day on the treadmill. But she worries about getting ‘runners face,’ where muscles sag, so she does facial exercises to tone up.”

First, congratulations to Ms. Beckham on her running regimen, although I would suggest a large stack of flapjacks might be beneficial to her workout. Second, it’s important to note that “runner’s face” is a phony syndrome concocted by a cosmetic surgeon trying to drum up business. Third, he describes this made-up condition as when runners over the age of 40 develop “a skeletal and bony face.” This would suggest that Ms. Beckham is locking the barn door after the horse’s cheeks have bolted.

We return to Closer magazine for the last bit of unintentional humor. A new story on its web site has the headline: “David tells Victoria ‘we barely see each other.’”

Again, flapjacks would take care of that problem.

The Curious Incident of the Runners in the Night-Time

We could use some more mystery and drama about daily training runs, as mundane as they usually are. The U.K.’s Westmorland Gazette tracked down a suitable saga.

“Two terrified runners have spoken of their face-to-face encounter with South Lakeland’s mysterious big ‘black cat,’” the paper reported. “It follows years of apparent sightings of the curious creature in Kendal, Levens, Natland, Witherslack and in the Winster Valley.”

Anjela Jones and Eve Grayson were traversing the foggy moor during their evening jog (OK, I don’t know if it was a foggy moor, but it makes for a better story) when they spotted an animal shape in the dark. Angela said the animal was jet black, the same size as a labrador, had long legs, a tail and was staring straight at them.

“We stopped, shone our head torches towards it to get a better look and saw two orange eyes and the outline of a large feline animal,” said Angela “It was definitely a big cat.”

Let’s put on our deerstalker caps for this one. I have a theory…

But it’s hard to devote sufficient attention to solving this mystery while being distracted by the photo accompanying the story.

Is this meant to be a re-enactment of the incident? Did the two women really hide behind a thin tree branch and pull it down in order to see?

Even more baffling is the photo caption: “Angela Jones and Eve Grayson, who say they saw South Lakeland’s mystery big car.” That’s right, it says “car.” Were they really hiding behind a tree branch from a big black car?

The reporter adds to the riddle when he describes the culprit as “the mystery moggy.” The term can be applied to a cat, but also a cow, a mouse, or “an untidy woman.”

Hmmm… definitely a three-pipe problem.

62-Runner “Jennipede” Sets World Record

It’s official. The Guinness Book of World Records has certified the 62 members of the “Jennipede” as the largest number of runners tethered together to complete a marathon.

The group finished the Lakefront Marathon in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, last October in 6:20, breaking the previous record of 54 runners. The team was put together to raise money for the physical rehab of former elite runner Jenny Crain, who suffered severe injuries after being struck by a vehicle during a training run in 2007.

It’s easy to imagine the difficulties involved in running a marathon while tied to 61 other people, but this short video makes it even plainer.

Weird Running-Related Headline of the Week

From the Toronto Globe and Mail:

Flip-flops crushed her foot, now she wants to run again

And You Thought They Only Knew How to Taper

We’ve featured running wiener dogs, running reindeer and even running shrimp, but here’s Roadrunner the Cat:

Yes, of course Roadrunner has his own web site.