Liven Up the Olympics With Naked Night Running

Dateline – Kisumu, Kenya:

Jack Songo, aka Moses Okinyi, the president of Night Runners Organisation, recently shocked many by his demands that the government recognises night-running as a sporting activity.

Yes, the Kenyan night-runners are back in the news, and now they’re organized and looking for government funding. You might remember our earlier report on the activity, in which certain Kenyans remove their clothing, carry small stones or a kitten, and go running around villages at night, bumping their bums against doors and hiding when the owner opens up. While all this is going on, the runner’s wife is supposed to be at home frying sim sim.

No one knows how much of this would be incorporated into an official version of the sport, but Songo has already offered to make it clothed, to avoid offending sensibilities. Then there’s this:

Songo says night-runners have the ability to tame wild animals and will aid the government to conserve wildlife and attract tourists to the country.

“We normally tame wild animals that we use to provide us with security at night. We therefore urge the government to support us in order to help conserve wild animals to generate income for the country,” Songo says.

Apparently the wild animals are also naked, as recently seen at the London Zoo.

And you thought dressing up like Tinker Bell or a superhero was cutting edge.