Coyote Bites Road Runner

Dateline – Boulder, Colorado:

Foot patrols by open space rangers are being stepped up in areas near the Boulder Creek Path in east Boulder in the wake of a Saturday attack in which a jogger was bitten in the calf by a coyote.

Investigators found an empty bottle of Acme Hi-Speed Tonic in the vicinity…

…and believe the attack might have been brought on by the jogger’s running attire.

Editor’s note: The story refers to “open space” rangers, not open “space rangers.”