Trolling for Hate Mail
Apparently envious of all the angry responses and additional page views the Wall Street Journal got from “America’s runners have never been slower, fatter or more out of shape” and ”It’s Time for Women to Run Faster“, the Huffington Post decided to get in on the action with “Are New York Marathoners Athletes?”
It’s a competitive world on the Internet, and I don’t begrudge Dave Hollander’s desire for more traffic. Sure, it’s transparent, but I’m happy to oblige.
Hollander published his e-mail exchange with his friend, writer C.J. Sullivan, in which they answer the headline question in the negative. Some excerpts:
Sullivan: “Out of the 37,000 duffers that will pollute the streets of our fair city this Sunday – November 7th – maybe 500 are athletes. The elite runners are something to watch. They are so lean they look almost alien. Them I admire. They are in an actual race. It is the 36,500 other fools that annoy me every year.
“Running is a great way to stay in shape. And running 26 miles is some kind of torturous accomplishment – but they are not athletes. They endure and then squawk about it endlessly as some kind of heroic feat. It smacks of narcissism not sport. Marathons are the last refuge for those that couldn’t cut it in other sports. Any knucklehead in decent shape can train and then run 26 miles in under 4 or 5 hours. It means you are in shape. It does not make you an athlete.”
Hollander: “Beneath the narcissism I detect deep-seated masochism. Kenyans run marathons because they have to. Back home there were no cars, no roads and the nearest school bus or fresh water source was 40 miles away. Their ‘training’ is borne from the necessity to survive. That 36,500 you mentioned, they run to kill personal demons. They beat their bodies swollen and sore to fill an emptiness or quiet a cry.
“Sport, no. Self-flagellation, penitence, lunacy — yes.”
You’ll have your own reaction, I’m sure, but I’m struck by the irony of the claim marathoners just seek attention and ”run to kill personal demons,” being made by people who are posting their personal e-mails under a headline on one of the most widely read and publicized sites on the Internet.
On the other hand, there will be some truly obnoxious folks on the course.
The biggest flaw in their comments is they believe the 36,500 runners care what they think. They can have their opinion about runners who are not competitive with the elites and I can have my opinion about their ability to write an intelligent article.
THIS IS S A GREAT TOPIC!”They endure and then squawk about it endlessly as some kind of heroic feat. It smacks of narcissism not sport.” I am living proof!
HA!
What do I think? I think your last paragraph is pure brilliance, that’s what I think!! LOL! And I wonder if Hollander edited Sullivan’s email a bit to make it work for his blog; if not, it would seem these “e-mails” are more of a pre-arranged collaborative post than a couple of lines dashed off to a friend at a whim.
And, since I followed the link (which I guess technically makes the brilliant paragraph the next-to-last one), I will add: Tweeting during the race seems like a waste of energy, even without the expressed safety concerns. Now, if I had enough friends (or enough money to hire some “friends”) to follow me along the course and tweet on my behalf, that would be great. And the ultimate exercise in narcissism.
I can’t see what’s wrong with running to overcome demons. Seems better than doing meth, pickling one’s liver, or kicking the dog. I will have to consult Webster to get the true meaning of “athlete” if the ability to run continuously for hours does not qualify.
I just headed over to the original post at huffpo to see if these two guys even attempted to define the term “athlete”, which, it seems to me, would have to be a sine qua non if you are going to presume to say who does and does not qualify as one. As I suspected would be the case, they made no meaningful effort to do so. And so in what way are the non-elite 36,500 deficient? For that matter, how and why do the (arbitrarily chosen) 500 elites qualify? By time? By fame? Something else? Who knows?
Until these two douchebags are willing to define their terms, their “debate” as to who at the NYC Marathon is and isn’t an “athlete” is nothing more than a two-man online circle jerk that they for some reason think the rest of us want to watch them engage in.
Thing is, it’s kinda difficult to come up with a definition of “athlete” that isn’t either too broad (making you have to admit people you viscerally feel are unworthy) or too constricting (even saying something as seemingly reasonable as “no fat-loads need apply” would require classifying, say, Babe Ruth and CC Sabathia as non-athletes … which you may or may not want to do).
[This, btw ...
They strive to break through the human limits of speed, strength and endurance while trying to finish ahead of others engaged in the same physical test. Competitive marathoners possess a mental toughness - the acid test which separates the good athletes from the great athletes - second to none and well beyond most
... which is as close as either comes to defining the term "athlete", is really nothing more than Hollander verbally sucking the dicks of those he calls "professional athletes". Plus, if this is what qualifies one as an athlete, pretty much anyone running the marathon would have to be said to qualify. Who among the runners isn't striving to "break through the human limits of speed, strength and endurance"? Who among the 37,000 runners doesn't possess "mental toughness"?]
But these guys weren’t seriously interested in trying to define what makes someone an athlete. They just wanted to piss on the 36,500 “finishers” who might inconvenience them by holding up traffic for a little longer than they would like. And those quotation marks come from Sullivan, who writes: They shut the city down for the whole damn day just so the stragglers can say they “finished.”
If the “stragglers” actually do “finish”, then why the scare quotes around “finished”? Does Sullivan have some useful definition of “finish” that excludes some people who actually do finish?
If so he, typically, doesn’t deign to supply it.
However you define “asshole”, these guys would have to qualify.
[BTW, nothing personal intended with the "phuk@u.org" e-mail address. It's the one I always give when I am required to by these wordpress blog sites.]
You can quote ME on this:
Writing is a great way to keep your brain in shape. And writing for a newspaper that takes 2-5 hours to read in its entirity is some kind of torturous accomplishment – but they are not authors. They endure and then squawk about it endlessly as some kind of heroic intellectual feat. It smacks of narcissism not intelligence. Newspapers are the last refuge for those that couldn’t cut it in literature. Any knucklehead in decent mental shape can write a column. It means you have a dayjob, it does not make you an author, so don’t quit it!
This really makes me want to NOT run the NYC marathon. But, because of the ludicrous entry requirements, I’ve already paid the New York Roadrunners twice not to run. Since I’ve got entry next year, I will run and it will be one and done – never to return.
This thinking is the polar opposite of the atmosphere around the Comrades Marathon in South Africa. The ultimate human race is about doing your best and pushing limits. Everyone wants you to come back, no matter how slow you are!
Big events like this are great for the cities they are held in. But they aren’t great because of the top 500 finishers – they are great because 36,000 people come and spend money and turn the race into an event.
Why all the hating and derision on the common guy? How democratic or progressive is that? Besides the bottom 36000 runners is what makes the sport of running is so great… fan participation.
How many rabid Green Bay Packers fans in the stadium on Sunday would give a limb to play a few downs next to their heroes? Or how many SF Giants fans would love to take a few swings against Lincecum? Or Lakers fans the chance to go one-on-one with Kobe? What other sport gives its fans the chance to go against the best, the elite?
None.
And that is what needs to be remembered. This participation by knuckleheads, slowpokes, and personal-exorcists is what keeps the sport popular and viable on a national and international stage, and keeps the rest of us buying shoes and tech tees. If it wasn’t for this involvement of the lower classes, the top 500 would would have no more magazines to sell or TV cameras to pose in front of, or money to win.
And they would become just what they portend to hate… common runners.