Out of the Doghouse

I ran for the first time in a month this morning – 1.76 miles at 9:59 pace. My right leg is still stiff  but I don’t have those horrible shooting pains down my sciatic nerve anymore.

I’m scheduled for an MRI this week and an appointment with the spine center next month. I’m convinced that by the time they see me there will be nothing to see.

It felt good to do any sort of physical activity. The other day I went with the Lovely Mrs. A. to the mall just to get out of the house. I spent most of the time in the car listening to the radio. I noticed that in the car parked next to me there was a guy, also in the passenger seat, reclining with a neck pillow and his eyes closed. It occurred to me that shopping malls are missing out on a huge money-making opportunity.

You’ll notice even inside the mall there are plenty of seats, usually occupied by husbands, and there are often chairs outside of department store dressing rooms. This is a waste. There ought to be a facility in the middle of the mall with a series of cubicles containing a large screen TV and stereo system, a recliner, a pitcher of beer, some buffalo wings and a big soft pretzel. Charge about $20-25 an hour. This way couples can look forward to and enjoy a trip to the mall and back together without one of you having to engage in any activities you don’t like. Wives will get to spend more time shopping – which will be good for them and for the economy. Husbands get to keep their wives happy without having to follow them around the women’s underwear racks. And they’ll also be spending money. It’s a winner for everyone.

Give it a cute name like the Doghouse or the Man Kennel or the Hubby Mill and women won’t mind leaving you there (unlike calling it something like, oh, Hooters).

If you like that one, remind me sometime to tell you about my other huge money-making ideas, like FlapJack-in-the-Box.