Friday Five: Running Gifts You’ll Be Returning
For the new year I’ve decided to institute a new feature called the Friday Five. There will be a different category each week containing a list of five items. To kick it off, here are five running gifts you received for Christmas that you’ll be returning:
1) The “Garmin accessory” you got that turned out to be a suction cup mount.
2) The Fruit of the Loom 3-Pack of Spaghetti Strap Sports Bras.
3) Your friend’s “special GU blend” consisting of equal parts Espresso Love and Pineapple Roctane.
4) The $12.99 Athletech Parker running shoes from Kmart.
5) The selection of “26.1″ merchandise, especially the “classic thong.”
1) I suppose I could mount it to my forehead.
2) “Sports bra” my ass. Even my tiny, bing cherry sized boobs would spill over that tiny training bra.
3) Never, ever, ever partake of your friends’ GU. Especially when there’s “love” in the title.
4) I swear that the first marathon I ever ran was in sneakers far inferior to those. Bought ‘em at PayLess for like $11. Not my smartest running move.
5) WTF??!!! Man up and run another tenth of a mile, slackers!!!