Christmas Gift for Your Favorite Road Runner
Researchers at Japan’s Tsukuba University have come up with a device sure to catch the eye of the boys at the Acme Corporation – a motorized knee that improves your running efficiency by reducing the required muscle exertion for running by 30 percent. Of course, the contraption weighs about 11 pounds, which at least partially negates the advantage.
The thing is, I’ve already discovered a device that reduces muscle exertion to near zero and increases your speed to superhuman levels. What do you think of it?
If you come across a spare Maserati, please send it my way. It will help me get through my miles. Unless it snows. Then I’ll probably just end up in a ditch. Cheers!