Archive for April, 2009

Running the Government

Each year, the American Council of Life Insurers sponsors a race featuring teams from the U.S. House and Senate, the executive and judicial branches, and the Washington DC media. For all its faults, our federal government does boast of some awesome runners.

One highlight of the race is the naming of the teams. A full list is posted, but here are some of my favorites:

Fast As Schmidt (U.S. Rep. Jean Schmidt – OH)

O Little Team from Bethlehem (U.S. Rep. Charles Dent – PA, including, of course, the town of Bethlehem)

Tapped Out (U.S. Rep. Jane Harman – CA. Follow this link to understand the joke.)

Ink Stained Retches (Washington Post)

One Step Ahead of the Axe (Scripps Media Center)

Fair and New Balanced (Fox News)

Talk of Pronation (National Public Radio)

The Carnival of Running #27

Welcome to the 27th edition of The Carnival of Running!

Watch as Boston Marathon spectators pit themselves against the 27 mph top speed of Usain Bolt:

If you’ve never seen the episode of Nova where coaches at Tufts take 12 people off the couch and train them for the Boston Marathon, it’s available on Hulu and well worth your time just for the stuff about how your physiology adapts to training.

Bryan Green of The Runner’s Tribe hammers the marathon coverage by Universal Sports. He was being too kind.

Sara at Run On is doing a 26.2-mile run – to train for her first marathon. No wonder she’s tired of running.

A little Internet research might have directed her to this blog, with a pretty good post about why it’s a very, very bad idea to run 26.2 miles without a race being involved – particularly if you haven’t trained, and have no water or food.

Even dogs require training for distance runs. But if you’re in Milwaukee keep them away from the Racing Sausages.

This article in Toronto Star explains research claiming that human beings are evolutionarily adapted to long distance running so that we could run down wildebeests and other wild game. This guy asks the next logical question: If that’s true, then why didn’t the wildebeests evolve?

I realize Running Is Funny has been overloaded with runner-in-costume stories lately, but these guys run in a white tux and tails.

Here’s a pretty good article about a part of track and field you rarely hear about: rabbits.

Sharon Chesworth isn’t that kind of a rabbit, but she dressed up in a bunny costume and completed the London Marathon in 8:08:09. I’m sure she would have done better if she had this bunny chasing after her.

Vanilla at Half-Fast complains about the enticing aroma of barbecue while he’s out running in the evening, but Roisin at The Beat of My Noisy Heart complains about the enticing aroma of doughnuts while she’s out running in the morning. Maybe you guys should eat first.

Gina Kolata of the New York Times writes that if you want to get seriously faster, you need a professional trainer. I think this is nonsense, but maybe it helps sell newspapers.

Apparently chasing ambulances is good training for Boston. I kid. This is a pretty good race report from a personal injury lawyer.

Olympic gold medal marathoner Sammy Wanjiru continues to astound, even without a giant pink nurse to motivate him.

I’m not a technophobe, but if you’re tweeting during a marathon you’re running too damn slow.

Are carbo-loading tips really necessary? If you’re unsure how to stuff your face with pasta and pancakes, Run Oregon can help you out.

Loving the debate over the benefits of running shoes? Believe it or not, Popular Mechanics weighs in.

Seven ultras in seven days on seven continents. Nuts.

Want to test running shoes? Contact The Running Man.

Talia Peery lists the top 10 reasons to run. She says number one is better sex. That’s a good motivation for anything, but do you really need to do a six-minute mile to run it down?

That’s all for this time, friends. May Day is approaching, so a shout out to the commies. Submit your posts to carnival@runningisfunny.com. Now run away!

Advice for Stunt Race Organizers

If you want to raise money for breast cancer research by holding a “bra dash,” you’ll do better with a lot fewer cross-dressers and a lot more female pulchritude. To illustrate, less of this:

More of this:

Just one man’s opinion.

Always Overdressing for the Wrong Occasions

OK, this “world record for running a marathon dressed as a (fill-in-the-blank) character” is getting out of hand.

It was good news for Ryan Desgrange, who completed the Glass City Marathon in 3:04:48 dressed as Rocky Balboa. Ryan won his age group.

But it was bad news for Guy Cockroft, who ran a very good 3:38:29 in the London Marathon while dressed as the Cat in the Hat. Unfortunately Guy was edged out by Darren Stone, who finished with a 3:36:07 while dressed as Bananaman.

“I checked on the internet because I wasn’t sure how the other cartoon characters had done,” Stone said. “I scouted out before that Danger Mouse would be my main competitor but I have heard that I’ve got the record.”

Danger Mouse could not be reached for comment.

Meanwhile, Paul Simons ran a 2:55 dressed as Santa Claus, Jack Lyons managed a 4:22 dressed as a leprechaun, and Sally Orange squeezed across the finish in 4:32 dressed as, well, an orange.

Things didn’t go as well for the poor slob in the pack mule outfit, who DNF’ed.

Biggest Losers Dane and Blaine Complete Marathon

You may remember the controversy surrounding the marathon attempt by Biggest Loser contestant Dane Patterson, who hitched a three-mile ride in a TV van during the Arizona Desert Classic marathon in order to finish under six hours.

Yesterday Dane and his fellow contestant Blaine Cotter completed the Country Music Marathon in 5:47:20. Dane listed his age as 18 for some reason, but it’s him.

UPDATE: Absolut(ly) Fit has the first-hand scoop!

We Can Have Lots of Good Fun That Is Funny

Last week I told you about Ryan Desgrange, who was about to run the Glass City Marathon dressed as Rocky Balboa in an attempt to become the fastest marathoner dressed as a film character.

Evidently there is an entirely different category for marathoners dressed as cartoon characters – a mark Guy Cockroft will attempt to set in Sunday’s London Marathon. Guy will be dressed as The Cat in the Hat.

“I’ve told myself I’m going to do it but I think half the battle is psychological,” he said.

No word on whether Guy will hop up and down on a ball with two books in one hand and a cup on his head with a cake, and milk on a dish with a fish on a rake.

Banning Teenagers from Marathons?

I wasn’t aware that among its many other restrictions the Boston Marathon requires runners to be at least 18 years of age. A news story quotes a track coach as saying that letting someone under the age of 16 do a marathon is “a form of parental abuse.”

I wonder what Rich Hanna would say about that. Here’s a photo of Rich completing the 1977 Sacramento Marathon in 3:01:14. Rich was 13 at the time and ran the race after a lovely breakfast of bacon and eggs. He went on to a distinguished career in ultra-running and still kicks major ass when he races today.