When Underwear Is Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Wear Underwear
The International Swimming Federation ruled that competitive swimmers cannot wear anything underneath their swimsuits, for modesty’s sake or otherwise. The decision came days after Sweden’s Therese Alshammar lost a world record performance when officials learned she was wearing a second swimsuit. The rationale was that a second suit provides increased buoyancy.
This made me consider hypothetical equivalent situations in the world of running:
* A runner is disqualified when it is discovered her maxi pad has wings.
* A runner loses a bronze medal for attaching propellers to his nip guards.
* A runner’s photo finish victory is taken away because her pointy sports bra exceeded established limits.
* Pre-race ice baths cause controversy over whether shrinkage reduces drag and gives runners an unfair advantage.
* US Track & Field rules thongs do not provide an actual slingshot effect.
* Victoria’s Secret and UnderArmor to merge after third date.
Haha! Love this. #1, 4 and 6 are my favorites. :)
This is freakin’ hilarious. Thanks Mike!
I would think that a second swimsuit would actually provide more drag. Atleast that is what our swimming coach told us in high school, of course our team sucked and we never won an event.