Archive for February, 2009

Speedwork Works Speedily

I realize I’m not the first to discover this, but speedwork actually makes you run faster.

Yes, yes, stop the presses.

Over the last few weeks my training group has had us running two-minute intervals, then 880s the next week, then one-mile intervals, then 880s again. I hate speedwork because it hurts and makes you feel lousy. But just like taking your foul-tasting medicine, eventually it will make you better. In fact, if your speedwork doesn’t get you to that lung-burning, feel-like-I’m-gonna-die point, you’re wasting your time. Be sensible, but get out of your comfort zone.

It doesn’t matter if you run 12-minute miles or 5-minute miles. It’s the relative increase that matters. Push till it feels really bad, then hold it until you can’t hold it anymore, then hold it for another 10 seconds. Then recover. Going on feel may work better for you than using arbitrary time or distance goals.

It’s like getting into that scalding hot (or icy cold) bath. Dip a toe in. Then a whole foot. Then slowly sink your butt into it. There, that wasn’t so bad.

You’ll see results. After 4 x 880s on Tuesday night I went out on Wednesday morning and ran 4 miles in 31 minutes, which was far faster than I had been running the same distance for weeks. I was thrilled, but I still hate speedwork.

The Carnival of Running #17

Welcome to the 17th edition of The Carnival of Running!

Students at the University of Iowa are the latest to organize a Nearly Naked Mile to benefit the Salvation Army clothing drive. But you don’t want to read about it, you want video of a previous race!

A theme this week was photos of food that didn’t look quite as appetizing as they undoubtedly were. There was Runner Leana’s oatmeal, Run Like a Girl’s butternut squash soup, and JoyRuN’s homemade protein bar. See Kai Run. See Kai Eat. had some questionable-looking meals, but others look delicious, too.

Last week it was Krispy Kreme doughnuts, this week it’s the Run for the Cookies. Each race participant received a box of Girl Scout cookies. But that’s nothing compared to the Wacky 5k Run in Chicago, which boasts a post-race “snack food fantasy buffet.”

Speaking of diet, non-runner Janice Jaquith wonders about her husband and the strange beings with whom he associates:

You are now, no doubt, wondering how to recognize one of these zombie marathoners as they walk among us during the day. I suggest that you watch for the shank-of-the-evening bedtimes, the inordinate pasta consumption, and those wee bumper stickers that are intended to be noticed only by the chosen.

But when you let the dog out before dawn and see a pack of Spandex–clad undead lurching toward you, don’t panic. No need for torches or barricades. It’s not about you.

It’s all about the Marathon.

An even better paean to running spills from the pen of pop culture reporter Caitlin Moran. I just have to reproduce this excerpt:

I don’t even know why I started, to be honest; I just found myself thudding out of the front door with an iPod one day, in the same dumb, unthinking manner I draw burnt-cork moustaches on people at 4am. Initially, I was going to run only as far as the kids’ school, but by the time I got there, Rock’n'Roll Suicide hadn’t quite finished, so I ran the distance (respect for David Bowie’s elongated fade-out insisted that I run), doubled back on myself to Rebel Rebel and Suffragette City, then promptly threw up into my hands in the hallway at the shock of it all.

I have spoken to other runners since and many have reported a similar physical reaction to their first big run. The theory that we have collectively agreed on is that this nausea is caused by the death of the voice inside you that says such things as ‘Wearing those skin-tight running leggings is socially unacceptable’ and ‘Jogging on the spot as you wait at a zebra crossing is the province of the emotionally diseased.’

You must vomit that part of yourself out so that you may turn into a proper running nerd who reads the advice on electrolytes on runnersworld.co.uk.

If, like Caitlin, music gets you moving, Pigtails Flying has an extended playlist for your running and listening pleasure. Don’t lose your balance, though. A biomechanics researcher claims swinging your arms in tandem with your legs while walking or running serves no purpose, and that we do it because it would be too much effort to keep them still.

In other tales of medical science, Marathon Mama is upset that her new doctor has principles, and The Loose Moose discusses her uterus.

There are many types of hazards out there, as The Running Moron learns from his encounter with a yappy little dog. His encounter turned out better than mine did.

About 1,400 runners braved the foul weather for the Red Flannel Run in Des Moines, prompting one resident to comment, “Why is it that these idots (sic) have some sort of need to gather in large groups and block the roads? Why does the city allow and even encourage this stupid behavior?” Well, we may be stupid, but we’re smart enough to know how to spell “idiots.”

Running can also provide inspiration. Washington DC Mayor Adrian Fenty will head a 12-member relay team in the 200-mile American Odyssey Relay, a race from Gettysburg to DC. Fenty has a marathon PR of 3:37, and while peace of any kind is rare in the Middle East, it’s encouraging to read about the broad participation in the Dead Sea Half Marathon.

Greg Richards found inspiration of a different sort, proposing to his girlfriend at the finish line of the Myrtle Beach Marathon, and Chic Runner got a snuggie for Valentine’s Day. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Finally, we finish with the power of running blogs. See sRod Run contemplates what it would be like to not blog, while Jeanne at Not Born to Run discovers one of the joys of running blogs is that people want to give you free stuff. But that’s nothing compared to blogging’s political clout. Shortly after KimPossible complained about the Kansas tax refund standoff, it ended!

That’s all for this time, friends. Let us never forget the immortal words of Don Kardong, who once said, “You entered a marathon with hills? You idiot!” Remember to submit your posts to carnival@runningisfunny.com. Now run away!

He’s Da Bomb

Congratulations to Jonathan Kehoe, pictured here, for setting a new world record for fastest mile run in a bomb suit. Kehoe ran a 10:13. The World Records Academy reports:

Servicemembers and most runners probably would not be very impressed with a mile run in just over 10 minutes. But, add to the equation a 75-pound bomb suit made of stiff material, factor in the added heat from wearing it and add a pair of rubber over-boots; and it becomes a different story.

If I ever saw a guy in a bomb suit running that fast I’d assume he had a very good reason and would run just as fast in the same direction.

Valentine Run

The Valentine Run 4-miler is always an exciting event because it marks the official start of the running season. The schedule here is “Spring-loaded,” so to speak. Between March and June you can find a race to run almost every weekend. The Valentine Run gives you a good indication of how much work you still have to do.

The weather was threatening, but the wind and rain stayed away for the duration of the race. I had an encouraging training week, which was fortunate because the previous week had been lousy.

One of the great features of any short race organized by Capital Road Race Management is the presence of a half-mile marker. It’s essential for those of us without a Garmin. I don’t know how many times I’ve reached the one-mile marker in a race only to discover my pace is all wrong, but it’s too late to do anything about it.

I hit the half-mile mark at 3:49, which pleased me, but I knew I wouldn’t maintain it for the whole race. I started dialing it back, and completed the first mile at 7:49, which meant I ran the second half-mile right on my target pace.

Miles 2 and 3 were identical 8:03 paces, and I was running comfortably, so I started to pick it up again. I was thrilled to have a really strong sprint at the end, completing the final mile in 7:46.

Finish: 31:41
216th out of 764
15th out of 30 in age group

I’ve whined about my age group before, but it still bears mentioning that the top 9 guys in the 50-54 age group all averaged sub-6:45 splits.

All in all, better than I expected, but with a way to go before I’m happy. I felt even better on Sunday, running a 1:26 ten-miler, even through the wind, rain and, at one point, hail.

Four weeks until my next race, the Shamrock’n Half Marathon on March 15.

Hair Might Improve It

If you wanted to run the Edinburgh Marathon but weren’t sure you could cover the distance, there’s good news. You can run the Hairy Haggis Relay instead.

The fellow pictured here is Hairy Haggis himself, who may or may not be Hamish the Hairy Haggis, but is certainly not Ernest, the Wild Hairy Haggis.

Save the Bay to Breakers!

For the record, let me state that I have never run the 12k Bay to Breakers, a race in San Francisco run annually since 1912. Nor do I condone public drunkenness and nudity (besides, most people who get naked in public are people you would never want to see naked in private).

But it is incumbent upon anyone with a web site named “Running Is Funny” not to sit idly by while one of the funniest races in the country is reduced to the ordinary.

For this year’s race, organizers of the event are banning alcohol and nudity - which, frankly, are the distinguishing features of the race – plus instituting other rules regarding floats and who gets to run where. The latter may cause some problems for the runners who dress as salmon and run the opposite way, against the flow of the other runners.

Reaction to the news has been robust. A story about the new rules on the City Insider has generated 445 comments. The Poop was less than understanding about it:

People who move in next to pig farms have to deal with the smell. People who move in next to freeways have to deal with the noise. And people who live along the Bay to Breakers route have to know that their front sidewalk will become a river of urine one Sunday morning every year.

Because it’s San Francisco, there is already a web site and an online petition protesting the changes.

Some people are even worried about the end of the tortilla toss:

In their defense, the residents along the race route have had to deal with extraordinary amounts of garbage left by runners and spectators, not to mention the public drunkenness, nudity and bladder relief. Long-time runner Vance Cardell has an explanation for why public urination is on the rise:

These days, everyone is carrying a bottle of water. Everyone is hydrated. I come from the dehydrated era. Maybe we peed less.

San Francisco isn’t Boulder, Colorado. I expect widespread civil disobedience. Keep your eye on this one.

The Carnival of Running #16

Welcome to the 16th edition of The Carnival of Running!

By now you have heard about the Krispy Kreme Challenge, a four-mile race with a difference – halfway through it you have to stop and eat a dozen glazed doughnuts. You can settle for a first-person account of the race, but I know what you really want: video!

Doughnuts are my thing, but Kara at Between the Miles prefers the Truffle Shuffle, where the pastries prompt a poetic outburst.

All those goodies are a treat for runners, but if you overdo it, you risk missing out on the best part of being a runner, according to the Scottish Daily Record, which is that “jogging together can lead to a hot sex life and better body image”. Just eating dessert together works pretty well, too.

Of course, after you have the better body image and the hot sex life, you can take your companion on a romantic cruise. How about aboard the Caribbean Princess for the Cruise to Run? More than 340 runners combined cruise overeating with running around Antigua.

If you can’t make it to sunnier climes, there are still good times to be had. Team Cross Runs offers advice on how to survive running at 21 below, while run4change scopes out Mizuno’s running gloves. Meanwhile, Barefoot Rick doesn’t sweat the cold, as he adds an Associated Press story to his long list of profiles.

Viper gives us the lowdown on the Frostbite Prediction Run, in which you try to run the exact time you have predicted without benefit of a watch or any timing device whatsoever. I would stink at this.

Unorthodox timing methods for master runners are also featured at the Melbourne and Beaches Music Half-Marathon. Finish times are age-graded so that the really old can compete on a level field with the marginally old.

Another group of runners asked the Freakonomics guy how to handicap a series of races so that the winners are not decided merely by total time.

Officials at the Shepherd Hill Regional High School have a different measurement problem. They can no longer hold track meets at the school because the track is calibrated in yards, and can’t be switched to meters.

US Track and Field has difficulties of its own. The organization commissioned a report to learn why the U.S. team did relatively badly at the 2008 Olympics. Among its scathing recommendations was a call to disband the relay program and start from scratch. The New York Times weighed in with a couple of stories (here and here), but you can just go to the source and read the full report for yourself (it’s about 69 pages long).

On the brighter side, Shalane Flanagan set a new American indoor record for the 5k (14:47.62), while prep phenom Jordan Hasay is headed – where else? – to the University of Oregon to begin her college track career.

Back in the world of road running, the organizers of the San Diego Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon hired an independent auditor “to investigate questionable activities and payouts linked to the race.”

Rick Konon, race director of the Colchester Half Marathon, doesn’t need an auditor. He’s the William Shatner of the running world, inviting participants to “name your own price” to register.

The organizers of the Boston Marathon definitely won’t let you name your own price, nor do they make it easy to get in, but thankfully we have important BQ advice from both Frayed Laces and The Running Laminator.

Steve in a Speedo provides way too much information about atmospheric release, while Marathon Mama details her own strange Speedo encounter. If that isn’t bad enough, The Running Moron goes completely pantsless in a church parking lot.

Finally, paleontologist Dennis Bramble seeks the missing link between Darwin’s theory of evolution and long-distance running. Sorry, professor. That mystery has been solved.

That’s all for this time, friends. Enjoy Valentine’s Day by chasing each other around a track. Remember to submit your posts to carnival@runningisfunny.com. Now run away!