Archive for December, 2008

The Carnival of Running #10

Welcome to the 10th edition of The Carnival of Running!

Blog Post of the Week: Exhibiting the kind of thinking that epitomizes the philosophy of Running Is Funny (in all senses of the term), Nitmos at Feet Meet Street had an inspiring thought. Suppose there was a foot race to approximate the plot of the film The Cannonball Run? That is, you have a starting line and a finish line, and how you get from one to the other is entirely up to you. There are no other rules.

But this wasn’t sufficient for Nitmos. For the final twist to send it spinning off the mad genius cliff, he dubs his hypothetical race The Cannibal Run, in order to allow for the eating of competitors. Considering the reality shows currently being broadcast, I predict this will be on the Versus schedule in five years.

Kara at Between the Miles wants to know if you run in your dreams. I did last night, because I was being chased by Nitmos, who was carrying a knife and fork.

Christmas is fast approaching, so we’ll let Xenia at Diggin’ It kick it off with a rendition of The Twelve Pains of Running.

Christmas means presents. The DC Running Examiner has five gifts for runners under $25, while Chic Runner exhibits some running-themed neckties and shows off her first-place-in-age-group medal. Congratulations!

Students at Tufts University could have used a tie, or any other article of clothing, for their traditional Naked Quad Run. The link is safe for work, and the video on the web page is so dark that you can barely (ha-ha) see bare butts.

If you want to give the gift of music, Run DMZ posted her running music mix online. It just made me feel old, what with my collection of Rossini, Savoy Brown, Mountain, J. Geils, Ennio Morricone, Jethro Tull, and Derek and the Dominos. Running into the Sun also has music I’ve never heard of, while The Running Moron complains about his music choices.

If you want to give something entirely new to that runner on your Christmas list, USA Today reports that Under Armour getting into the running shoe business. But a real gift comes from the Detroit Running Examiner: how many miles you have to run to burn off the calories from a Starbucks salted caramel signature hot chocolate.

Runner Lee DiPietro received an early Christmas gift – her first marathon victory… at age 50.

If it’s races you want, Santa has a sleigh full of them. The Zaney Reindeer 5k was held despite a wind chill of +10, prompting women’s winner Cassandra McCune to say, “I’d rather go shopping.”

Santa works out the kinks before the Great Santa Run in Des Moines, and 178 Running Elvi covered the distance in Las Vegas. The web site has a pretty good little video about the race, but it won’t let me embed it here.

The Seattle Marathon had an atheist aid station, which is fine with me, but I generally need God’s help when I run. The California International Marathon consists of 275,000 steps, in case you were wondering, and it’s a good thing you don’t have to race it while carrying a Christmas pudding. (photo below)

Still, it isn’t all fun and games. The Costa Rica International Marathon was supposed to begin at 6 a.m. – and didn’t start until after 11 a.m. Even worse, the pace car for the Pune International Marathon got lost several times along the route, resulting in many elite runners being disqualified for failing to cover the full 26.2 miles.

More good news: No matter what marathon you run, it is probably 42 meters too long, because the USAT&F certifiers always add that amount as an extra measure to ensure the course isn’t too short, which would invalidate official times.

But before you get too upset with race directors, read about the five conditions the organizers of the Stillwater Marathon have to meet in order to get city council approval for the race.

Back to happier thoughts. Life Strides provides what I believe is the first “in utero” race report. Running Off at the Mind tries to ignite a battle of the sexes, knowing it is the surest way to high web traffic.

Finally, the New York Times reports on the makeover of the 168th Street Armory into the Armory Track and Field Center. I ran at the armory back when I was on my high school track team (I really, really stunk). There is no truth to the rumor that the armory was supplying artillery to the Army of the Potomac at the time.

That’s all for this time, friends. Submit your posts to carnival@runningisfunny.com and keep your powder dry. Now run away!

Quote of the Day

“If I knew I had to run at 10:30 this morning, I wouldn’t have gone out at 6.”

- Rev. Bill Hegedusich, a Catholic priest at St. Peter’s on Capitol Hill, who just before conducting Sunday Mass, ran down a thief who had stolen money from the church’s collection box, recovering $60. Hegedusich is a 3:42 marathoner.

Disappearing Marathon TV Coverage

Here in Sacramento, television coverage of the California International Marathon used to be huge, if relatively uninformed. Three years ago there was four hours of exclusive coverage that included Dick Beardsley and a local track coach for color commentary. A camera on a rigged motorcycle followed the leaders for much of the race. Two years ago, coverage was cut to three hours, with no commentators. Yesterday, we had two reporters, one at the halfway point and one at the finish, giving updates during the morning news.

They had no idea who was leading, where they were, or what was going on. They couldn’t identify the winner when he finished, and didn’t know the time of the female winner when she finished. But, boy, did we get a lot of updates about weather along the course and road closures.

Budget constraints are understandable, but if you cover something live, cover it. Otherwise just get some clips and show them on the six o’clock news. This was an embarrassment.

Breakfast of Champions

Running has altered my diet, and I am eating food that is better for me in general. But I have to admit I do experience a noticeable sugar burst if I eat badly before running in the morning.

Normally I’ll have a bagel and peanut butter or Kashi cinnamon shredded wheat, with my usual large cup of Kona coffee and two raw sugars. But I was bad on my birthday and had two Homer Simpson-style donuts for breakfast. I mean chocolate frosting and multi-colored sprinkles and all. I then went out and ran my fastest six miles of the year.

The best race of my life, mile for mile, was the 1:41 half-marathon I ran one week after I had fainted about a half-hour after a 20-miler (low blood sugar). It scared me so much I loaded up on sugar and caffeine before the race and I was totally wired on the starting line. I ran what was at the time a five-mile PR over the last five miles of the race and made Roadrunner “mbeep-beep” noises as I passed people.

I’ve never been able to re-create that feeling, though I also never again mainlined simple sugars like I did that day. I’m not planning to switch to a junk food diet, but now I’m wondering if my distance running would improve with a sensible combination of complex carbs and simple sugars just before I race.

I’m going to experiment with this. I don’t want to undermine your good eating habits, but I’ll let you know how it turns out, either way.

Happy New Age Group!

Yesterday was my 50th birthday. Normally this is a time for reflection, and it is for me, but mostly reflection about how it will affect my running.

I’ve already come to terms with the fact that I need more rest than I used to, that I might have aches and pains for no apparent reason when I wake up in the morning, and that six-minute miles are just distant memories.

So what I really want to know is how I’ll do in my new M 50-54 age group. I’m hopeful that in perfect circumstances (small race, bad weather, distant location, stars aligning) I might pick up an age group award somewhere. Unfortunately for me, in this area we have some devastatingly fast 50+ year old runners.

Take a gander at these age group results from an 8k I run every year. Twenty-five guys averaged sub-7 minute miles last year and the top guy ran 5:38s.

Well, if I can’t outrun them, I’m just going to have to outlive them.

The Carnival of Running #9

Welcome to the 9th edition of The Carnival of Running!

Before we begin, let’s have one last Thanksgiving note. Runner Kym Klass has a list of things she’s thankful for.

Our video this week features the Fantasy of Lights 5k, a night-time race in Michigan.

Reuters ran a pretty good story on the popularity of second-tier marathons, and mentioned that the endurance sports market is $1.3 billion a year and growing.

As a sidebar Reuters added a list of 10 unusual marathons, but I’m not sure if they are the most unusual marathons. I wonder, for example, if there is a 26.2-mile equivalent of the Cinnamon Bun Fun Run a 10K in Ladysmith, British Columbia, in which you have to guess your finishing time beforehand in order to win the top prize.

The Insead 1.2k Dash in Singapore features Dutch milkmaids of a sort (is that you in the middle, Gorilla Ice?)

As long as we’re discussing international races, let’s go to the Cayman Islands Marathon (I wish). It will have unique mile markers designed and painted by high school art students.

The Great Ethiopian Run boasted a runner dressed as a condom, while the final event (21k) of the New Zealand North Island Triple Crown has defending champion Sjors Corporaal who is “a dyed in the wool cow-cocky” who runs “maybe once a week.”

On a more serious note, the Mumbai Marathon is pressing ahead with plans to hold the race in January, despite the recent terrorist attack.

We have multiple stories from the Beirut Marathon, which, among other things, sought to raise awareness of the “hazards of cluster munitions.” That isn’t something you normally worry about at your local race.

A media outlet in Iraq sponsored some runners in the race, and we do have a more light-hearted race report of the associated 10k.

Back at home, next year the Las Vegas Marathon turns into the Rock ‘n’ Roll Las Vegas Marathon as big city races become big business.

We have tips galore this week. The Abilene Reporter News suggests that “working out in a group could make you more successful.” I’m giving this advice a try myself next month.

The Lansing State Journal reports that winter is the best time to run with a partner, but “always choose a partner who is slower than you. Then you can be the one who imposes the torture.”

Run to Win tells us how an injury can lead to a big PR, but only if you do the smart thing.

SpeedEndurance.com takes on the stretching/no-stretching controversy and describes what happens when you throw a bucket of water on a sleeping cat. I would not recommend trying it at home.

Gobs Channel say the best way to run is to “exhale on your left foot”. When I do that I end up with gobs on my left sock, but not to worry, because socks are the perfect stocking-stuffer for runners. Although putting socks in stockings is like giving wrapping paper as a gift.

Kara at Between the Miles has an important list of what not to wear at a race, while Running Off at the Mind spent some time on the “Motorized Rubber Band of Doom.”

Half-Fast visited the doctor, but is upset that he didn’t get to pee in a cup. If you think that’s bad, imagine what he does when he visits the dentist.

The San Jose Mercury News examines evidence of human beings reaching their maximum speed. I reached mine a long time ago, but if you haven’t, maybe you need a rack on which to hang running medals, like the one Chic Runner saw.

If your best running days are past, don’t despair. You can use the shortcut to age-group trophies by breaking into the race organizer’s van and stealing them, along with 1,000 plastic drinking cups. Did you really need a cup that badly, Half-Fast?

That’s all for this time, friends. Submit your posts to carnival@runningisfunny.com. Happy Birthday to me! Now run away!

Marathoners Still Irked by L.A. Date Change

The Los Angeles Times published two articles about the reaction to the news that the Los Angeles Marathon is being moved from Presidents Day to Memorial Day. Hundreds of commenters vented their anger and frustration, prompting the Times to publish a column by writer/runner Tina Dupuy about the move. She quotes a friend in her running group as saying:

“Great. First we don’t have a football team, and now we don’t have a marathon.”

One commenter on Dupuy’s column was even more succinct about the decision: “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”