Archive for November, 2008

Pacing Back and Forth

Saturday I ran a 5k averaging a 7:50 pace.

Sunday I ran 8 miles averaging an 8:48 pace.

I wish I could tell you I planned those paces precisely, but I have no idea how it’s done. I read advice all the time about running at 5k pace, or 65% effort, or tempo, or easy, and while it all sounds terrific, when I get out on the road, I just… run.

I try to maintain the pace that will get me through that day’s distance with the proper balance of speed and comfort. That is to say, as fast as possible without bursting a lung. If you asked me to run a precise 8-minute mile, as opposed to an 8:15 or a 7:45, I couldn’t manage it.

I envy those of you with calibrated legs, but my meter only has three speeds: fast, slow and stop.

I’m trying to avoid reverse.

Run for a Safe Haven

This morning I participated in the Run for a Safe Haven, a 5k to benefit My Sister’s House, which provides shelter and services for battered women and children in the local Asian and Pacific Islander community.

The weather was cool and windless, so it was a perfect day for a race. I ran a 24:20 – which is about two minutes off my PR, but good enough for 51st place and 7th in my age group. I did trounce Sacramento mayor-elect Kevin Johnson, who finished in 31:32.

Johnson will make a great mayor, but the Kings really need a point guard. I wonder if he’d consider moonlighting.

Foxy Lady

A runner in Arizona was attacked and bitten by a fox. While removing it from her foot, it latched onto her arm and wouldn’t let go, so she ran a mile back to her car, detached it and threw it in the trunk, then drove to the sheriff’s office, where the fox also bit an animal control officer.

So the entire running community has one question: What was her time in that mile? Since we’ll try anything, you may see a lot of runners in your next race with small woodland creatures attached to their arms.

I’ve already pitched it to Brooks, Nike and Garmin as an apparel accessory.

Running Mantras

Many of you evidently have inspirational messages you repeat to yourself while running, in order to get through those rough patches. The forums at both Cool Running and Runner’s World list dozens of them. But I don’t see anyone who uses one remotely like mine.

The purpose of a mantra, I presume, is to dupe yourself into feeling something you’re not currently feeling. For example, no one needs to repeat “I’m strong!” while they’re blazing past throngs of runners on the way to a PR. It’s usually when you’re struggling up a long hill and you feel like crap.

I’m all for doing what works, but who am I trying to kid? When all is said and done, does it really matter what you’re thinking as long as your legs keep moving? So when I feel lousy on a run, I simply let my mind vent its anger and frustration. My mantras are “I can’t!” or “I’m not gonna make it!” But I keep running.

Sure, it’s strange, but if you keep telling yourself over and over again “I can’t” while your body continues to run, soon the words lose their meaning and their ability to dishearten you. Being honest about what your brain is telling you, yet overcoming it anyway is worth more than telling yourself something you don’t really believe at the moment.

If that’s too negative for you, try the one I use when I’m feeling good: “Easy.” It serves a couple of purposes. First, it tends to slow me down when I’m jacked and want to go out too fast, and second, it reminds me that running is quite possibly the easiest form of exercise in existence.

If you don’t have a mantra, don’t force yourself. Looking at scenery. listening to music or computing splits in your head serves the same purpose. Your brain can help your running, but it can weigh you done, too. Every once in a while, try leaving it at home.

The Carnival of Running #5

Welcome to the 5th edition of The Carnival of Running!

Everyone wants to talk about the election (and isn’t it too bad that Nitmos, who promised to “abolish Fig Newtons at a race finish line,” didn’t win?), but we’re still cleaning up the mess left over from Halloween.

First, there’s this great old Nike Halloween-themed running ad:

RW Daily came up with some Halloween costumes for runners, but they pull up lame if you ask me.

Much better is Run to Win’s account of the Wicked Creepy Halloween Trail Run. Fun was had by all, except maybe the poor girl left inside Bucket 1.

Plagued by injuries? Held captive by smelly socks? Accosted by assorted running evils? Fear not! Jeff at zipper quigley will transform into his alter ego to save the day. Ladies and gentlemen, The Amazing Hip!

Halloween may be over, but DC Rainmaker bridges the gap between holidays by dressing as a giant turkey and running sub-7 minute miles.

In a week of big events, the next one up was the New York City Marathon. The New York Times ran stories on the race the entire week leading up to it, and for once it just wasn’t an endless series of inspirational tales. This time we got the kind of journalism runners have always demanded, like how do they get all those porta-potties in one place?

Have you ever bandited a race? The New York City marathon has a posse of volunteers to head you off at the pass.

The Running News Guy from Chicago ran his first New York marathon and provides a report, but three women were the race’s biggest stories. Paula Radcliffe, the winner, of course garnered the most press, but we also heard from third-place finisher and first-time marathoner Kara Goucher, who had us all nodding in agreement when she said, “Ten miles to go, I tried to take some (gel) and the taste of it wanted to make me throw up.”

But the media didn’t get all the details. Between the Miles wants to know how Kara manages to run with such long hair.

The third woman who made headlines didn’t run the race. Apparently a rumor was rampant that Victoria Beckham (aka Posh Spice) was planning to run, but it wasn’t to be. This disappointed I Signed Up for This?!?, who had to settle for spotting the semi-famous Ryan Reynolds.

Marathon Mama had a different take on the Beckham rumor: “Good luck to Over Pro Nate, who’s running the NYC marathon Sunday. My goal for him is that he finishes in half the time it will take Victoria Beckham’s toothpick legs to propel her bobble head through the five boroughs.”

New York wasn’t the only major city with a marathon. Wide Awake in Wonderland ran the Istanbul Marathon. Considering the rain, she’s lucky she was in reasonable proximity to Mount Ararat. Istanbul has a long running tradition, dating back to the Genoese victory over the Venetians in the Run for the Galleys in 1453.

Speaking of the sea, Frayed Laces has a salty story. And Half-Fast offers a blanket apology to everyone who has inadvertently seen him pee while out on a run. But that’s only one thing you do that annoys people. Viper lists the rest.

In international news, Olympic gold medalist Kenenisa Bekele will venture into the world of road racing with a 15k in the Netherlands. If you want to know why Ethiopians are so great at long distances, it may be because they can endure weddings that are two weeks long.

Finally, what kind of running column would this be without tips? Team Cross Runs offers tips for running in the fall, though they’ll work just as well in the other three seasons. Little Miss Runner Pants lays out the rules of running, the truest of which is that the early miles always suck.

Even more educational are the lessons from Run to Finish, as she translates the arcane and mysterious language of women for the rest of the world. chiarunner introduces me to a line I’ve never heard before: “I pick my women like I pick my course… I’ll only take ‘em if they’re flat and fast.”

Finally, a hearty well-done to reader Bill Raabe, who finished the Marine Corps Marathon in 2:51:38, good enough for 82nd overall and third in his age group. Amazing!

That’s all for this week, friends. Submit your posts to carnival@runningisfunny.com and watch out for soggy leaves. Now run away!

Two Arms!

I love running.

I don’t love swimming, biking, push-ups, weightlifting, discus throwing, tossing the caber or Johnny on the Pony.

Running seven days a week is really, really bad for my legs, so my off-days are off-days. I don’t run and I don’t (grimace) cross-train.

That is, until an injury forced me to find some way to maintain a semblance of aerobic fitness while recuperating. Standing in the gym with dozens of machines from which to choose, my lone criterion was to find the one that most closely approximated running but didn’t involve slamming my feet onto a hard surface thousands of times.

So I mounted an elliptical trainer. Designed to mimic cross-country skiing, in practice it is sort of halfway between a treadmill and a stationary bike. I had never used one before, but I figured if Otis the cat could figure it out in three minutes, so could I.

Ellipticals are increasingly popular, with everyone from marathoners to Darth Vader using them. It is especially good to know that if terrorists attack your local fitness center, our Marines are trained to fight without dismounting the elliptical machine.

My first outing was for 15 minutes at Level 1, and I was racing away without a care in the world, my hands locked around the heart-rate handles. Then I finished, and for the next five days could not walk down stairs, step off curbs or stand on my toes. I had completely destroyed my calves.

It turns out my posture was bad, and failing to use the arm handles made the problem worse. When I returned to the gym, I stood up straight, started slower, and used the handles. I’m getting a reasonably good cardio workout, but I hadn’t anticipated the extra benefit of the arm work. The workout was easier because pulling on the handles takes some strain off your legs and, strangely enough, you get into the habit of using your arms more efficiently when you get back to running.

Arm drills for running aren’t exactly a new technique, but you may find a little elliptical work preferable to bouncing off your butt at the track.

I’ve got a long way to go before I’m a cross-training convert, but at least my non-running days are a little more productive than they used to be.

My Best Worst Race

For the second year in a row, my marathon training and Boston aspirations were sidelined by peroneal tendonitis.

I was pretty bummed about it, especially because my wife and I planned a week’s vacation around the Maui Half Marathon. OK, so we were still going to enjoy the sun, sand and surf, but there was a bit of a letdown.

I brought my running gear with me in the hope I could get a couple of miles in, but the race was definitely out—until Wednesday night. For some insane reason, I decided I desperately wanted my finisher’s t-shirt and medal. My leg was coming around, and the only thing holding me back was that I was woefully unprepared to go 13.1 miles.

I laid my plan before the lovely Mrs. A. and, God bless her, she didn’t go through the obvious list of reasons why it was a really bad idea. Instead, she encouraged me to go ahead, as long as I was careful.

Don’t try this at home, but here is my five-week half-marathon training program:

Week 1: Run one day for 7 miles
Week 2: Run three days, 2, 3 and 4 miles, for a total of 9 miles
Week 3: Run one day for 4 miles
Week 4: Run one day for 2 miles
Week 5: Run 4 miles on Thursday and 4 miles on Friday, run half-marathon on Sunday

The race began promptly at 5:30 a.m., to avoid the worst of the tropical heat, but it was still in the mid-70s at the start. I began at the absolute back of the pack, to avoid any temptation to go out too fast. And for the first time in a long time, I ran a race completely anxiety-free. It’s actually liberating to know you’re going to run a lousy time. I waved to the crowd and the volunteers. I admired the gorgeous scenery. I joked with other runners.

It was great.

Considering my lack of training, I figured I would be fortunate to run to the halfway mark, and I would walk/jog the way back. But I reached the turnaround point in good spirits and with no discomfort, so I kept going.

The heat was beginning to take its toll, however. I ran to mile 10 in 1:40, walked for a mile while slathering myself with ice-cold sponges, and resumed a slow trot.

The last two miles were eye-opening for me, since most runners around me were really struggling, including the guy just in front of me who spewed a geyser of Gatorade. I, on the other hand, was having a blast. I “sprinted” the last half-mile and finished in 2:17:35 – my worst half-marathon by 13 seconds.

It occurred to me at the finish that the appeal of distance running is doing something you can’t even picture yourself doing. And while I know I’m capable of much better, I was just as happy with that 2:17 as I would have been with a 1:39.

Don’t wait for an injury to try a race for fun. You can hammer a fast pace the other 364 days.