The Carnival of Running #6

Welcome to the 6th edition of The Carnival of Running!

This Veterans Day many running bloggers took the time out to thank veterans for their service. I’d like to echo those thanks, and as a veteran myself, say “You’re welcome, America!”

Wrapping up details from previous week’s events, we have Universal Sports with on-demand video of the entire New York City Marathon, or individual segments if you don’t have four hours to kill.

Sorry, no video of Marci Runs the Marathon. She was forced to run the race with her, um, monthly companion.

Speaking of marathons, remember Arien O’Connell, who sort of won the Nike Women’s Marathon? Reebok visited her classroom at the Beginning with Children charter school in Brooklyn, presented her with a trophy, gear for her and her students, and a $2,500 donation to the school.

Halloween has been over for two weeks, but Nitmos is still appropriating his kids’ candy. He isn’t as bad as I am, though. I buy bags of Halloween candy even though I haven’t had a trick-or-treater visit in three years.

The Carnival has featured runners dressed as gorillas, turkeys and naked pumpkins, but Steve in a Speedo?! gross! can run six-minute miles dressed as a tomato (photos included).

But that’s far from all. We also have The Running Moron competing in the Men in Kilts 5k, while Pigtails Flying drags herself out of bed just to try out her new red running gloves.

Yes, it’s outfits galore, with See Kai Run. See Kai Eat. reminding us, “To wear running tights, you better damn well believe you’re a runner.”

Maybe, but you really have to have b*lls to run the marathon dressed like this:

It’s doubly dangerous because you might meet someone like Half-Fast, looking for things to do while on his long run. Half-Fast sticks to “Ding, Dong, Ditch” as a good way to work in fartleks, but some comedian might prefer “Ding Dong Sack-Whack.”

If that befalls you, I Heart Running claims “What Doesn’t Kill You Will Only Make You Stronger.” She apparently has never been run over by a bus.

At zipper quigley, Jeff introduces us to a new concept in warm-ups: the pre-marathon haka.

We don’t all have such fun. Diggin’ It wears out the asterisk on her keyboard describing her long run (content warning for naked male buttocks).

Sistahs with Blistahs works through a lot of preparation and guilt for a 30-minute run, while I Signed Up For This?!? had a one-man cheering squad on her run, which is why I don’t let my wife run by herself.

You could try to avoid such mishaps by heading to your local gym, but be forewarned! The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy is cheating on her old gym, because she “was curious what it would be like to work out with equipment that wasn’t riddled with tetanus or that didn’t have the overwhelming stench of armpit and old shellfish.”

Running On Empty describes a girl at the gym who was able to text message the entire time she used the stair-stepper, but Journey to 13.1…One Advil at a Time is pleased with a new gym, remarking, “In all the times I’ve been there, I’ve never once seen a woman in full make-up, which is a good sign.”

If you’re serious about running, Run to Win has news of the governance restructuring at USA Track and Field, Marathon Me defies conventional wisdom on negative splits, and the Associated Press reports, “Fat kids found to have arteries of 45-year-olds” – and the 45-year-olds want them back!

We’ll tie up the loose ends with three “nots”:

chiarunner will not be seeing that guy again as Google ends yet another budding relationship.

Runner’s World keeps publishing those “I’m a Runner” columns when it would probably be more motivating to profile a bunch of couch potatoes and call it “I’m Not a Runner.”

And Viper was not funny this week.

That’s all for this time, friends. Submit your posts to carnival@runningisfunny.com and don’t fracture your funny bone. Now run away!