Worst Souvenir Ever

So I had my colonoscopy yesterday. Despite what you may have heard, the hardest part is not the procedure, or the preparation, it’s the going without solid food for almost 48 hours. That was excruciating.

Anyway, I got through it OK, and was astonished to receive what has to be the most bizarre memorabilia imaginable – photos of my colon.

At least I think they are photos of my colon. I don’t have anything to compare them to. For all I know, they could be pictures of some random guy and the hospital hands them out like those photos that are included when you buy a picture frame or wallet.

I guess it is supposed to provide concrete evidence that they actually went there, like taking a photo at the summit of Everest. It seems weird, though. I mean, it was a colonoscopy, not a trip to Disneyland.

Sure, you’re all dying to know what my large intestine looks like, but that would be an invasion of my privacy. Instead, I can tell you that it looks exactly like this…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Mike - April 18, 2014 at 11:52

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Gotta Run

I’ve been a bit, uh, busy for the last 24 hours, so amuse yourself with a similar experience by a better humorist.

1 comment - What do you think?  Posted by Mike - April 17, 2014 at 08:37

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Fast

Not as in speed. As in not eating solid food.

Scheduled for a colonoscopy tomorrow (which they just bumped to 90 minutes later) so nothing today but black coffee, Gatorade and chicken broth.

Went out and ran 2.75 miles anyway. Now I’m effin’ starving.

Well, it’s still Lent, so I can pretend I’m returning to old-school Catholicism.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Mike - April 16, 2014 at 11:48

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Running in Circles

When you get tired doing loops, try doing a loop.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Mike - April 15, 2014 at 11:29

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Margaery Runs a 3:50, Joffrey Fails to Finish

Here are a few items from the London Marathon that might not have made it into your local news reports:

* Natalie Dormer, who plays Margaery Tyrell on Game of Thrones, completed the race in 3:50:57. Nice even splits, too, though she went out too fast.

* Downton Abbey‘s Ed Speleers ran a 3:24:16 with entirely positive splits.

* David Stone from Devon set a new Guinness World Record for the fastest marathon dressed as a television character. He ran 2:49:51 dressed as a Thunderbirds character. Can’t find a photo so I don’t know which one it was, but I’m sure his hair was fabulous.

* If you didn’t get to run the London Marathon, don’t despair. Thanks to Paofit, you can run the entire course on your treadmill, as well as courses in many other locations around the world.

* Wear your London Marathon finisher’s medal to Cartizze, Mayfair’s trendiest new Bellini bar, tonight and tomorrow night and enjoy complimentary cocktails.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Mike - April 14, 2014 at 09:04

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A Run For Their Money

Philadelphia’s public school teachers want a new contract, so instead of forming a line in front of district headquarters they started running around it.

Union organizers promise to hold a run the first Saturday of each month until an agreement is reached.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Mike - April 11, 2014 at 12:05

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The Tough of the Track Returns!

Three cheers to Athletics Weekly for bringing back the one and only running legend in comics, Alf Tupper, the Tough of the Track.

Check out my post from last year for Alf’s background, but it’s great to know a whole new generation of runners will get to enjoy Alf’s adventures, no doubt while munching on fish and chips served on old newspaper.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Mike - April 10, 2014 at 12:12

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