Why Usain Bolt Needs to Be the Fastest Man Alive

It’s best just to tell the story in pictures. This is Usain Bolt’s girlfriend.

This, however, is not Usain Bolt’s girlfriend.

Nor is this.

Nor is this.

Can Bolt outrun a salvo of assorted crockery?

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Mike - August 25, 2016 at 11:21

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Feeling Olympic Withdrawal? Try Ragdoll Runners

Usain Bolt may be the fastest man to ever live, but I’d like to see him try to cover 100 meters in Ragdoll Runners, a game that includes running, long jump, triple jump and hurdles.

It’s a direct descendant of QWOP, the legendary game in which keyboard buttons control various muscles in your video athlete’s legs, to often hilarious results.

Ragdoll Runners is actually a little easier to play, though still quite difficult, as various professional game reviewers have learned to their, and our, amusement. There are a number of these attempts on YouTube, but my favorite was this one from PCGamesN.

Try the demo yourself here. Remember, everyone is a winner.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Mike - August 24, 2016 at 11:59

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View From the Back of the Olympic Marathon Pack

In this age when you don’t even need a TV to watch TV, I am a bit confused about what version of what sport with which announcers we all watched during the Olympics. I watched the full men’s marathon yesterday afternoon through my cable provider, but I believe it was originally broadcast live as an Internet stream from the BBC. In any event, the coverage was impeccable. Not only were the commentators knowledgeable, but they were as familiar with the runners in the middle-of-the-pack as they were with the leaders.

They also broadcast right until the very last runner crossed the finish line, and that was great. While most everyone saw Meb slip and fall and do his push-ups, those who watched until the end also got to see a stray dog cross the course…

…Federico Bruno of Argentina run the last quarter-mile sideways due to a leg cramp…


…and next-to-last the surprise appearance of Kuniaki Takizaki, running for Cambodia. We profiled the Japanese comedian when he attempted to represent Cambodia in the 2012 Games. After finishing Takizaki led the crowd in cheers.

All of this was very entertaining, but I was a bit disappointed by the absence of the Soran Happies.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Mike - August 22, 2016 at 10:14

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Germans Don’t Do Comedy

Yesterday we posted about the twins and triplets who ran in the women’s Olympic marathon, and today the Hahner twins are again in the news because of this photo.

The twins finished well off their personal bests, and evidently German track officials were upset that they were happy and smiling at the finish instead of grimacing and near death a dozen or so places ahead in the rankings.

Their main aim was to generate media attention,” said Thomas Kurschilgen, sports director of the German Athletics Federation. “That is what we criticize.”

This attitude reminded me, strangely enough, of an old Beck’s beer commercial about the German sense of humor.

Take a lesson from the Hahner twins and lighten up.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Mike - August 17, 2016 at 10:32

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Marathon Full of Twins and Triplets

With 156 runners lined up for the Olympic women’s marathon, it seems highly unusual to have not just one, but two sets of twins in the race, and a set of triplets.

Kim Hye-Song and Kim Hye-Geong of North Korea fared the best, finishing (naturally) in a tie for 10th with 2:28:36.

Anna and Lisa Hahner of Germany also came in together, although their timing chips showed them one second apart at 2:45:32 and 2:45:33.

Lily, Leila and Liina Luik of Estonia look alike (try saying that three times fast), but went to their individual fates in the race. Lily finished 97th with a 2:48:29, Leila 114th with a 2:54:38, and Liina succumbed to the heat, failing to finish.

I’m devious, so if I were triplets, I would have gotten one bib and relayed it.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Mike - August 16, 2016 at 12:20

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You Can’t Match Olympians in Eating, Either

This photo of Australian badminton player Sawan Serasinghe’s post-Olympics meal has gone viral…

…but he’s not unique, according to Australian Olympic swimmer Melanie Wright, who describes the scene in the Olympic Village:

Walking through the front door your eyes can’t help but dart directly to the free McDonald’s. At the beginning of the Olympics, the lines are short with a few weightlifters, track and field throwers and marathon runners frequenting the Big Macs.

But by the final few days when most sports are finished, they can barely keep up as each athlete lines up to order 27 cheese burgers, 40 chicken McNuggets, 12 sundaes and a Diet Coke before collecting the food and walking away without needing to pay.

The dining hall also features a host of ethnic foods. The eating competition must be as fierce as any in the stadiums.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Mike - August 15, 2016 at 09:45

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Nutty or Not? Move Marathon to Winter Olympics

Christie Aschwanden of FiveThirtyEight has a radical idea to improve performances at the Olympic marathon: move it to the Winter Games.

The conventional wisdom is that the optimal temperature for running a fast marathon is 50 degrees Fahrenheit, said Alex Hutchinson, a Runner’s World columnist, but a 2012 study analyzing data from nine years’ worth of finishes at the Paris, London, Berlin, Boston, Chicago and New York City marathons concluded that the fastest median times were posted at a race-day temperature of about 43 degrees Fahrenheit for men and about 44 degrees for women. “Is it going to be hot or just moderately warm in Rio? It doesn’t matter,” Hutchinson said. “If it’s not cold, it’s too hot to run a great marathon time.”

The humidity in Rio (predicted to be around 70 percent at the start of the women’s race Sunday) will only make things worse.

This is probably a non-starter since every other running event occurs in the Summer Games, and there’s the issue of snow and howling winds, but this would be the one thing to get me to tune in to the Winter Games, so why not experiment?

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Mike - August 12, 2016 at 11:23

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