So I had my colonoscopy yesterday. Despite what you may have heard, the hardest part is not the procedure, or the preparation, it’s the going without solid food for almost 48 hours. That was excruciating.
Anyway, I got through it OK, and was astonished to receive what has to be the most bizarre memorabilia imaginable – photos of my colon.
At least I think they are photos of my colon. I don’t have anything to compare them to. For all I know, they could be pictures of some random guy and the hospital hands them out like those photos that are included when you buy a picture frame or wallet.
I guess it is supposed to provide concrete evidence that they actually went there, like taking a photo at the summit of Everest. It seems weird, though. I mean, it was a colonoscopy, not a trip to Disneyland.
Sure, you’re all dying to know what my large intestine looks like, but that would be an invasion of my privacy. Instead, I can tell you that it looks exactly like this…
I’ve been a bit, uh, busy for the last 24 hours, so amuse yourself with a similar experience by a better humorist.
Not as in speed. As in not eating solid food.
Scheduled for a colonoscopy tomorrow (which they just bumped to 90 minutes later) so nothing today but black coffee, Gatorade and chicken broth.
Went out and ran 2.75 miles anyway. Now I’m effin’ starving.
Well, it’s still Lent, so I can pretend I’m returning to old-school Catholicism.
Here are a few items from the London Marathon that might not have made it into your local news reports:
* Downton Abbey‘s Ed Speleers ran a 3:24:16 with entirely positive splits.
* David Stone from Devon set a new Guinness World Record for the fastest marathon dressed as a television character. He ran 2:49:51 dressed as a Thunderbirds character. Can’t find a photo so I don’t know which one it was, but I’m sure his hair was fabulous.
* If you didn’t get to run the London Marathon, don’t despair. Thanks to Paofit, you can run the entire course on your treadmill, as well as courses in many other locations around the world.
* Wear your London Marathon finisher’s medal to Cartizze, Mayfair’s trendiest new Bellini bar, tonight and tomorrow night and enjoy complimentary cocktails.